family

i just gave a little talk to clay 
about eating at the table 
in the new house - they listened 
then - “i wish i never came in here”

and got up to go 

i stopped them n said 
wait why what 
“i dont want a lecture” 
she doesn’t like change

or boundaries 
and has a pda diagnosis - 
i have a friend who rolls her eyes
at all the medical jargon 

i cling onto 
like an addiction 
explaining away 
human behavior 

clay often uses 
“autistic people often get accused of being rude”
 
as a get out of jail free card 
ur smart i say 
u know right from wrong 

she left the room disappointed
something i have to get used to 
as they r almost a teen 

the half birthday just passed 
told me with delight 
along with some other facts 
they know by heart 

 - the Appalachian mountains were around since b4 saturn had rings 

 - harvard university has been teaching mathematics since b4 calculus was invented

 - cleopatra lived closer to the invention of the i phone - than the construction of the great pyramids of giza

common knowledge - 
they say nodding 
i smile - “of course” and later i google 

sure enough 
all correct 
they amaze me daily 
my 5th one 

im so proud of
how well they r doing 
with all the transitions 
since moving 

how they have gained so much
agency - 
self discovery 
unconditional love 

how lucky i am
to have raised 5 
of my own 
in this lifetime 

my first turned 30 the other day 
separated by a continent 
how is it possible 
it had gone so fast 

my second is in wisconsin 
doing her best 
to live her true destiny 
giving it her all - bravo

three is happily married 
in suburban bliss 
a family of his own 
and a life of joy 

he knows something that one 
took me too long to figure out 
my boo bear blake 
the glue 

my 4th is 22 
with a degree with honors 
starting out her life 
in the big apple 

so happy to get to share 
all the stages of life 
with others in ur family 
as they fly on their own 

launched 
into a world of their making
theirs to fuck up and figure out 
while standing beside me 

in life or memory 
here and now 
family sticks 
no matter what 

once when I was a young actress 
I did a charity at McLaren Hall 
a Los Angeles home 4 abused children
It was Christmas time - we brought gifts 

We were each lead by a therapist 
Who guided our conversations 
so it’s not to upset the child 
“hi buddy my name is ROSIE how old are you?