leaving weed

my life since stopping

I didnt start smoking pot til I was 40 
It scared me as a teen 
I was worried about being out of control 
I did try it - a few times 

Only to find myself worrying that my saliva 
Had disappeared from my mouth 
Unable to talk to anyone 
Sitting alone at a party 

Not for me - so at 40 
When a therapist suggested I try it 
To help my anxiety in certain situations 
I did - ready for relief - I was open to it 

And it helped me in some ways 
Allowed me to feel free 
At ease and more able to enjoy 
Areas that had always caused angst 

When it became legal in California 
I indulged more and more 
Thinking its like a glass of wine 
Only not as bad for me 

Its legal I would say 
When questioned by others 
About my growing usage 
“Totally legal” was my common retort

Well I have now had 9 months 
Without it 
And I feel so much better 
Happier - more present in my relationships

People have noticed 
And asked me what changed as
I seemed so different 
And I think its not smoking pot 

I know I made major changes 
By leaving the USA 
And coming to Ireland 
Where pot is not legal 

So I didnt have a choice really 
Although I have met people here who smoke 
Its not available on every corner 
Like it is in NYC and LA 

And when I was offered some 
I have turned it down 
As it felt risky 
With my applying for citizenship here 

I didn’t want to take any chances 
Doing anything illegal 
But more than that 
I found I didnt want it 

Which after many years of using 
Came as a surprise 
It was out of my system 
I felt clear in a way I came to love 

And much to my shock 
It wasn’t hard to leave it behind 
I have read it can be hard for some 
For me - it was easy 

I am grateful for that 
Now I still drink beer 
Smithwicks is the beer I love here 
Red ale they call it 

Low alcohol content 
Refreshing but full bodied 
I dont enjoy Guinness 
It reminds me of coffee 

Which I have never tried 
As I loathe the smell
And have zero desire to try 
It kinda of repulses me 

I know so many who cannot function 
Without their morning coffee
I dont miss what I never had 
It shocks many 

So I just wanted to to share 
My personal experience 
In stopping my marijuana habit 
And how it had helped me 

Feel better in so many ways 
Now do I miss it 
Sure sometimes 
But not enough to go back 

Hope this doesn’t come off preachy 
I dont sit in judgement of others 
Who smoke - at all 
Just wanted to share 

Its possible to stop 
If u want to - or need to 
If u want to see how it feels 
Without it - give it a try 

If not - thats cool with me too 
Load up ur bong 
And have at it - 
Peace is always the ultimate goal

Only love folks